Yi's Voice

I was very nervous today in the Van Gogh exhibition. It was very crowded. I don’t like it when there are too many people. It is too much for me to be there. I wish I could stay and enjoy the paintings. I wish I could control myself better. It is just too much. I am upset that I couldn’t myself to enjoy the art. I am sorry that you had to leave early. I know that you wanted to stay longer. I thank you for being patient with me. I love you. 

I am in New Jersey this week to visit my friends for the first time. I have been having such a wonderful time. It is wonderful to be here with my friends. Yesterday we went to The Met, which is a really big museum with amazing collections that are truly astonishing. It was overwhelming for me at the beginning. I sat down in the room with many paintings by Van GoGh. I could feel his emotions in his paintings. It was too much for me to handle. I love him. I love him. I want to be with him in his studio in France. I love him so much. The rest of the museum is also really nice. I had such a wonderful time in The Met. I would love to go again tomorrow.  I am so proud of myself for being able to control my emotions.

Q: Why do you always have strong emotional reactions when you are hurt physically, even when it’s really just tiny little things? A: It is painful for me because it reminds me of the history of me trapped in silence. It was impossible for me to tell you what was going on. I didn’t have a way to tell you what happened to me, what hurt me, and how I felt. I was so lonely in my prison of silence. I didn’t have a voice.  But I am smart, I am strong, I will be strong, I will be tough, I will grow out of this.

Yesterday my book was published on Amazon . It was really exciting for me. I am so proud of myself. It is very empowering. I didn’t want to publish it. I thought I would be nervous. I thought people would not believe me. I was wrong.  I am glad that mom pushed me to do it. It is the best decision that I made this year. I  so happy to hear that it helped mom’s friend to decide to try RPM for her son John. I know this is going to change their lives in a good way. I am so happy! 

I was in a public school in the special needs room where they taught me baby stuff. I am now at OMS, a private inclusion school where I learn grade level curriculum.  It has been a transitional year for me.  I am reborn. I am so proud of myself. I am here with a voice. I am smart. I am teachable. I am a genius. It is the public schools that failed me. I especially want to say to the people  who didn’t believe in me:  You are wrong. You destroyed me. You made me feel like killing myself. But I am strong. I am going to live a meaningful life. I am going to help others who cannot talk. It is important to me that I want to tell my stories  so that more people understand people like me. I want to be heard. I have a voice.